My mom didn't nurse us as babies. And that is OKAY! She just wasn't really comfortable with it, and so I grew up with all my siblings being bottle-fed. When I got pregnant with Addie, I really didn't want to nurse, but Mike wanted me to. It cause some slight tension when the subject would come up. I mean, nowadays, formula is just as nutritious for the baby. So after some thought, I decided I would try it. When I started nursing, it was awkward and unfamiliar. And to be honest, I hated nursing in the mother's lounge at church (We are in public; I don't want to see your boob. Cover it up!). Also, because of Addie's size and her slight jaundice, I had to give her a formula after every nursing session. So, that gave way to 50% bottle, 50% breast. Then eventually, by three months she was exclusively bottle. Part of me felt that I had failed a little, but the other part of me knew that if she was healthy, then that was perfectly acceptable.
This time around, I wanted to be better. The first week is awful (engorgement, nipples that are on fire, problems latching...) and being the only one to feed the baby is hard. Mike heard about that lots in the middle of the night (see above picture). But, as time has gone on, I have had a HUGE change of heart. I have found that I enjoy our 2 AM feedings (and the 3 and 4 AM ones too!), she can latch so much better, and she is growing perfectly. Nursing is something special for us. I understand what it means when they say it creates a bond: its for the mom more so than the baby. So, last night when Mike was feeding her, I guess I got a little sad, wishing it was just me and Leah. But I am excited for the little bit of freedom this gives me. Now to find a babysitter...Any takers?
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This was such a SWEET post Alyse, thanks for sharing. We'd babysit in a second, if we were were still close!
ReplyDeleteSo I totally wrote this huge comment on my computer but then when i tried to submit it, it wasn't accepted for some reason. So let me try to retype it! I want to let you know my thoughts sooo here you go.
ReplyDeleteI am So proud of you. Nursing really is a job and it is difficult, but so rewarding at the same time. My only advice with pumping a bottle is that you should really only do 1-2 bottles a week because it definitely decreases your milk supply. I pumped for 4 months while finishing my last semester at school and it was HARD WORK. Grated, I had the pressure of pumping 12oz a day for Ry to have enough for Brin the next day while I was gone. I went to bathrooms to pump sometimes because I was so engorged! But anyways....I had the crazy mommy mind that feeding Brinley formula was like poison so I never thought to supplement anything while I was a full-time student and really wasn't producing any milk by the time she was 6 months old. It was sooo stressful. Anyways, i know you have a different situation, but know that when you start to pump, your milk supply will go down. I really wish I was in a different situation with Brinley because I would have loved to nurse until she was a yr or more, but I just couldn't handle being a full-time nurser and student!
ps, after the words HARD WORK, it is supposed to be "Granted" lol
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to this. I HATED nursing at first. It was sooo uncomfortable, maybe painful is a better word. And I didn't have as positive of an outlook on the middle of the night feedings... But after a month I started pumping and having Cody feed Leila a bottle once a day. And it is such a weird thing how free you feel but how sad it is too... So glad you're loving it now!!
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