My mom didn't nurse us as babies. And that is OKAY! She just wasn't really comfortable with it, and so I grew up with all my siblings being bottle-fed. When I got pregnant with Addie, I really didn't want to nurse, but Mike wanted me to. It cause some slight tension when the subject would come up. I mean, nowadays, formula is just as nutritious for the baby. So after some thought, I decided I would try it. When I started nursing, it was awkward and unfamiliar. And to be honest, I hated nursing in the mother's lounge at church (We are in public; I don't want to see your boob. Cover it up!). Also, because of Addie's size and her slight jaundice, I had to give her a formula after every nursing session. So, that gave way to 50% bottle, 50% breast. Then eventually, by three months she was exclusively bottle. Part of me felt that I had failed a little, but the other part of me knew that if she was healthy, then that was perfectly acceptable.
This time around, I wanted to be better. The first week is awful (engorgement, nipples that are on fire, problems latching...) and being the only one to feed the baby is hard. Mike heard about that lots in the middle of the night (see above picture). But, as time has gone on, I have had a HUGE change of heart. I have found that I enjoy our 2 AM feedings (and the 3 and 4 AM ones too!), she can latch so much better, and she is growing perfectly. Nursing is something special for us. I understand what it means when they say it creates a bond: its for the mom more so than the baby. So, last night when Mike was feeding her, I guess I got a little sad, wishing it was just me and Leah. But I am excited for the little bit of freedom this gives me. Now to find a babysitter...Any takers?
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