Ok, friends, here it is: all of my problems layed out for you. Ok, just my biggest onek Leah can't put herself to sleep. And it's driving me crazy.
When she was about 7 months old we started sleep training. A full week of screaming for an hour or so each night, and I quit (Addie seriously took 3 nights; it was beautiful). We did get her sleep trained soon after, but soon came a trip, and it was all thrown off. We got home and tried again. Same pattern (inserting teething, colds, or other trips) happened 6 times.
Which brings us to present day.
Leah can put herself to sleep for her nap. We have some milk, cuddle and sing, I lay her down and she might fuss for 5 minutes, max. It's great.
Then comes bedtime...ugggg. I hate bedtime with Leah. We do baths, milk and a short movie, cuddle and sing, then I lay her down. And she screams. And Screams. And SCREAMS. It is awful. She will do it for an hour, non-stop. We've tried everything. She hasn't used a pacifier since she was 5 months old, and I gave her one tonight out of desperation. It hasn't helped. Mike is rocking her to sleep right now. We started her bedtime at 9, just including the crib part, and it's just after 10. Maybe we are missing her sleepy window, but I'm not sold on that yet.
Ok, seasoned mommies, give it to me. Tell me your best tricks. I am almost to the point of giving up until she is old enough to do a sticker chart or something like that. But as much as I love cuddling with her, I also want my evenings with Mike back.
Thanks in advance!
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Maybe try the EXACT same routine as nap time? I used the EASY method w/ Issac. (Eat, activity, sleep, you). When are her naps? Maybe nap time is too long? Or too close to bed time? If I let Katie sleep too late she won't go down at 8 and will kick her wall until 10 or 11. My guess is she's not tired enough and so she puts up a fight?
ReplyDeleteher naps are at 1 and she consistently sleeps 2 hours. I'm thinking that a complete schedule revamp is coming.
DeleteMaybe the movie is stimulating her not quieting her down? Or set up a tv in her room on a timer, tuck her in to bed and let her fall asleep watching it or after it turns itself off. Every kid is different so keep trying things until they work.
ReplyDeleteI think some kids are just better sleepers than others. Ya, I know, super helpful comment :) Lincoln was a champ sleeper. We did one week's worth of cry it out, it worked like a charm, and he's still an excellent sleeper at age 5. Ivan, not so much. Crying it out NEVER worked for him, he would go on for hours. Literally. At 12 months he started taking a binkie, and that helped a little but not a whole lot. At 18 months we found out he had a milk allergy, and once we had him off of milk that worked wonders (wonders meaning he finally slept through a night for the first time ever.) Then around 2 1/2 we took the binkie away (if I had it to do over again I wouldn't), and it was a nightmare all over again. He does not self sooth. Still doesn't. He's almost 4 now, and he's quite attached to a stuffed rabbit and to his blanket, so that's nice. It took a lot of trying to attach him to those things. And now all heck breaks loose, if say, the blanket is the wash, or we can't find the rabbit.
ReplyDeleteBut enough about my kids, I merely wanted to give an example. :) And share in your pain.
I think a total revamp of the bedtime routine is a good idea. I don't think it really matters what you do, as long as you do it consistently every night. Try a bunch of different things and see what you like best, or what seems to calm Leah best. With our boys (they are in the same room) we read stories, have prayer, turn the lights out, sing a few primary songs, and then turn on stories on cd for them to listen to while they fall asleep. For Adelia we read stories, then have prayer, lights out, then rock with her in the rocking chair for about 4 primary songs, then we tuck her in, wrap her blanket around her, sing one more song and turn her on a cd of calm music. We really like the cds for our kids because it gives them a transition time from being with mom, to not being with mom but not having it dead silent.
I don't think rocking and cuddling is bad, but set a limit so you aren't in there all night.
And do it the same amount of time each night so she knows. Say 5 or 10 minutes or whatever is good for you, and then no more.
Sometimes our kids still scream and we have to let them. Sometimes Adelia gets out of bed and wanders around and falls asleep on the floor, and we go move her back to bed later. Sometimes (like every night) Lincoln still comes out about 4 times with very creative reasons why he shouldn't go to sleep. So we are not perfect sleepers at our house either...and I don't think we ever will be.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this super long comment, is that it's kind of a season. You'll find something that works for you and for Leah, and sleep will be good sometimes and not sometimes. Don't give up. There seems to be an ebb and flow cycle. Pretty soon something will click. Promise.
Also, one more thought...pray about it. Heavenly Father knows what will make Leah sleep, and he knows what you need to hear to get the strength and patience you need to help her. :)
I would try moving her bed time earlier. Between 7 & 8 at her age. But if you're doing 9 now, just start bumping it back 15 minutes every night and see if you can find anything that works better. I hate suggesting a book to a seasoned mother, but we are huge fans of happy sleep habits happy child. It taught us a few key things that made all the difference. But, I also agree that it might just be difficult for her. Not something to blame yourself for. We also love our sound machine, because our kitchen is over her room and we stomp around at night. Also, if she has trouble at night, is it possible sheis afraid of the dark? Our noise machine has a projector thing that puts sheep on the ceiling. We don't use it, but it could help.
ReplyDeleteI recommend the book, The sleep easy solution. It's full of a lot of useful information like example schedules, milestones and other things to look for, really it's great. It's my new go to baby shower gift. It's a quick read too and divided up into age groups. Wyatt started this new thing that he likes to have the door open... I agree with maybe a night light, or maybe the movie is over stimulating (the book says no tv 30 minutes before bed) Yeah, check out the book. Hope it gets better! You'll have to let us know what you end up doing and if it works.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the ranks of motherhood Alysse. There is no cure to stubborn Huskinson syndrome. She comes from genes that just don't need a lot of sleep and fight going to bed. (I had 2 of them! That's probably why there isn't a fourth.)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, just come to grips with it knowing that it is her season to wreak Hell for you two and one day she'll eventually outgrow it.